Weakness...

("Spring Walk" by Jacqueline Penning)

This is my first spring since stepping into the company of those with a "bad back". I can bend over about four times a day before I start paying for it. I am in mild pain all the time until I start working. Then, if I am careful, it can stay quite manageable. I am still fearful enough of the pain that I rarely push it so hard that I end up in bed. I know when to stop and if I listen to my body then I do okay. I am thankful. It could be worse and I do try to remind myself of that. But I am certainly not immune to frustation over it at times.

Rachel has always loved to plant flowers beside her mom. It used to be just for fun, now I really need her and couldn't do it without her. I can work on the pots and any raised beds if I can do it sitting. But no bending or really even kneeling on the ground. So, I am thankful she loves to plant and loves it even when I am just advising and keeping her company.

Thankfully the children have always done chores. When I hurt my back I was glad I had taught my children to do certain household tasks. As soon as I was on my feet again, I immediately taught them more and more! This continues. I could not spring clean without them now and many household chores would wait longer if not for them. Perhaps the good in this is that I will continue to be motivated to train them because I need them!

Each year unfolds new challenges and lessons. This past year it has been my learning to say, "will you help me", or "I need to stop and rest now." I have had to learn to be thankful I am upright! I have had to learn to do as much as I can and be thankful for that. Perhaps someday it will be lifted; I don't know. But God helps me through each day if I will let him!

"May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;

may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.

May he send you hep from the sanctuary

and grant you support from Zion.

May he remember all your sacrifices

and accept your burnt offerings.

Selah

May he give you the desire of your heart

and make all your plans succeed.

We will shout for joy when you are victorious

and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.

May the Lord grant all your requests.

Now I know the Lord saves his annointed;

he answers him from his holy heaven

with the saving power of his right hand.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

They are brought to their knees and fall,

but we rise up and stand firm.

O Lord, save the king!

Answer us when we call!"

Psalm 20